Week 01

Reconnecting After the Break

After we ended the first semester, I found it hard to detach and disconnect from thinking about my project. There were, and still are, many unresolved questions. For example, what would my deliverable be, and what is the final outcome of my project? How do I navigate technical challenges, coding, and all the other requirements? What is the purpose of my project even? I'm unsure if I was meant to have all these answers by the end of semester one. I know that in an educational setting, there are internal deadlines to meet, or answers that have to be resolved by a certain point in time. But the truth is, looking at everyone else’s work on their tables really frightened me and brought out a lot of insecurities about my own project. It led me into a deep loop where I was constantly anxious, and every thought I had led to negative self-talk.

I know this is a conversation that is meant to be had in a private space with a counsellor or someone similar, but I want to be honest and upfront about the mental struggles that happen while working on creative projects, especially more so as a designer who pivoted from getting a diploma in business. Things are often more black and white in business; it’s easier to anchor what I’m doing and my self-worth to simple things like my grades or whether I’m able to ace my economics exam. Nevertheless, if there is anyone reading my creative process journal (lecturers aside), I hope they are able to feel less alone when feeling stuck in creative projects.

I think I’ve also learnt a bit more about myself as a designer. I’m willing to delve into topics that I have no clue about, but feel intrigued by. I’m willing to learn, and I’m willing to struggle, even if the outcome looks horrendous or silly. I know nothing about websites.

Where We Left Off

In the previous semester, I spent a lot of time familiarising myself with incorporating different technical tools into my website. For example, I used an external library from Spencer Chang's playHTML code and Matt Webb's Cursor Party. Most of these integrations were done on a whim, as they aligned with the concept I was trying to convey in my investigation of creating this web space. It also helped me become exposed to various JavaScript-related platforms or tools, which, as noted in last semester's journal entries, I struggled with, such as Node.js and npm. I also encountered terms like 'servers', which I could Google, but it’s difficult for me to understand them simply by reading definitions.

My project still remains in the conceptual and exploratory phase. I have yet to even finalise my dissertation introduction or literature review. Conceptually, it is still as vague as creating an alternative web space, and the description remains largely unchanged. The potential of the internet has always been to foster communication and community, regardless of geographical location. The internet has achieved this and more, yet many individuals still feel a sense of loneliness online. What was once a space for fun, self-expression, and cosy communities has now evolved into a place of commercialisation. In a web space largely dominated by large social media platforms, how can we investigate interactivity and design to imagine an alternative, community-driven web space as a means to resist the effects of commercialisation? For my dissertation, I’m always worried about whether I have written things correctly (what does 'correct' even mean in design?). It’s also difficult for me to visualise the outcome or deliverable at Week 16, but I know I’ll eventually find a way.